want to make a difference, part 927, and an HNT
Thursday, June 12, 2008 | Labels: half-nekkid thursday, hnt, job search, self-worth |For the post
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Note: If this bores you, there's an HNT thingy at the bottom of the post.
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It's been odd lately. I've felt off-kilter for a while - which those who read me know has been kind of a running problem with me.
There's a number of issues at play, as usual.
One of them is self-worth, but not in the usual physical sense.
I'm in one of those "I want to make a good difference, but I seriously don't know where I'm best suited" moods.
I've always assumed one of my best types of suitability would be related to my ability to communicate in different ways, including writing.
That's why I recently tried my hand at experimenting with my views on scientific things, especially biology. Unfortunately, I receive little to no feedback to help me develop - actually improve - my writing and communications skills.
And, to be clear, feedback doesn't mean "good stuff!" or "you suck!" Though, I'm sure those get used quite a bit.
Critiquing involves noting if something makes sense, causes points of confusion, is off-track, makes a strong case, etc. Even the ability to arouse pertinent questions or comments is a useful gauge of how on-point one's writing is.
But without any of that, I assume I'm a crappy writer. Or that I only make sense to myself. Or that I'm utterly incomprehensible. Or a combination of those.
Mind you, if I was really working on something written for REAL real, I wouldn't just slap something up on the net. I'd be working it over and over and over again - with lots of feedback from co-workers to guide me. Also, deadlines (which don't exist on a blog) often help. That's pretty much how I got anything done (usually in collaboration with others, though my doctoral thesis is a big exception).
Lacking any feedback, I think I simply lose heart - often along with my desire to keep trying.
But, then, on occasion, I'll get the urge and try again.
And it's good that, with no one else to prompt me, I can still occasionally self-start a side-endeavor like this.
You know, I suppose I could regain contact with some folks which I have lost contact for some time, people I knew in the sciences, etc.
But (1) I feel like my lack of contact has made me a stranger to them, which makes me feel severely guilty, and (2) I worry that what I would like to write - something to illuminate parts of the sciences in a style written for anyone, like my mom or whomever - would not sit well with the most scientists.
So, as with many things in my life, I intentionally isolate myself.
Often, with other parts of my life, I end up finding out my worries were either far worse that any actual reality or, even better, were entirely wrong.
Perhaps I should consider that such is the case for this as well.
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So, in case you were wondering after the last post, I did not, in fact, get sunburned.
Oh, I was close... really really, REALLY close. Bright red close.
But I just skirted back from the edge. All settled in to kind of a soft glow.
Aloe helped too.
And, since it's been a while for an HNT (Half-nekkid Thursday), so I'll tack one on.
And I was surprised by this because the past few weeks, I've felt positively gooey and squishy, and I've been skimping on the gym a bit again. But, I guess I'm managing to keep things under control. I'm cool with it.
See! Very little red, though this pic appears to have less color in it overall. You can see the hint of the tanline, though.
Anyways, Happy Half-Nekkid Thursday!
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The now obligatory disclaimer for my HNT posts:
As the link I always provide describes, "HNT" or "Half-Nekkid Thursday" refers to a voluntary blog activity, kind of a silly web-game, where on Thursdays you post a picture of some part of you.
It is not meant to be sexual, pornographic, or obscene in any way, though there are some that do that sort of thing.
In general, some people will show an armpit(!) or some abs - see Large Tony - while others will use a prop and/or a story and just show a pic of themselves in a pose - see Steven at Human Nature.
Here these posts are likely to be sporadic from me, as I'm not inventive enough to come up with new scenarios and I severely doubt anyone wants to see my big toe.
(end of disclaimer)
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You know, I read your "upper level" posts and just don't understand them sometimes....and that has nothing to do with you, strictly my lack of education and knowledge about things scientific. I wish I had it, but I just don't. And I admire anybody who can post more than naked pics, stories about how terrible their lives are, and all of that -- which is why I'm one of your greatest fans. So, I'm here for the long-term...and not going anywhere. As for the tan line, get rid of it. .... we've got two nude beaches that would take care of that tan line instantly.
Yes yes... thin with arms. How rough for you.
:-)
Tan lines are sexy - don't listen to Lewis.
Lewis: But that's my point. I'm literally writing with absolutely no scientific terminology, or at the least very little. If they're viewed as "upper level" then there's a really big problem.
I'm intentionally trying to write things that someone with no advanced education could read and generally get. It's for someone who didn't know any of it to read and then feel they know a little bit more.
I'm not writing for someone who already knows this stuff backwards and forwards.
And if people are reading it going "I don't understand it because I am not educated in these things," then I've failed miserably.
And since that's the first feedback I've gotten, my assumption is that I've failed.
I guess my goal will be to find someone to help me see HOW I've failed so awfully.
Is it just my horrible casual writing style? Is it careless laying out of my themes and premises? Am I a total retard that doesn't know shit and can explain even less? Is it still to dense and loaded with scientific jargon (and this simply can NOT be true)?
I need/want to learn what I'm doing right, what I'm doing wrong, and how to improve the latter.
here's the thing, atari: i'm a very smart guy who used to routinely plow through 1-2 books a week (i.e., the kind of guy that, until a few short years ago, would've eaten your other blog up).
until, that is, that instrument of the devil (otherwise known as the internet) sucked me in, chewed me up and spit me out with the attention span of a gnat on crack.
these days, if i don't get it in 30 seconds i'm probably not gonna get it at all (and if that's happened to the likes of me, trust me--it's happened to others in your target demo).
my advice to you: you wanna give people in this day and age something heavy, load it up in careful, colorful two-paragraph bursts before you fire.
and understand, i base this not on the quality of your writing, but on what i've gotten from my own readers--i can tell from my comments that even the smart ones rarely digest more than one or two paragraphs of any post i've ever put up.
sucks, but such is life in the new age.
I just spent a good amount of time reading Clear as Mud. And I would say if I was taking a course on the subject, you made it very easy to understand.
But I'm not, and really not that interested in the subject.
And I'm not much into toes, but the rest of you is looking pretty good!
I meant Clear the Mud. I really need to proof read before I hit the
publish button.
I on the other hand - like toes, not sexually, it comes from the time I had a broken leg... and a new camera, so I took many pictures of my toe, playing with all the settings of the camera... So now I take a picture of my toe when ever I go someplace new...
okay now you think I'm strange...whatever
mkf: I think you're quite right. Sad but true. Heck, I have similar problems - on the web, anyway - if it's not something I *want* to know.
I figure, though, that I'll work in long-form and then attempt re-casting it in short bursts. I mean, I don't know if there is a *right* way to go about this...
Wayne: Thank you, I appreciate that comment sooo much. I understand not everyone is interested in that stuff. It means a lot just to know that someone can follow along with the points I am making.
Jack: are you stranger then the rest of blogville? I think not :D
lord help us. your hair vanishes at ypur navel, do you have some sort of disease? is lower body hair loss a symptom of tularemia?